Philanthropy world news online edition

Philanthropy may be the trend du jour, but pondents continue to predict its death and rebirth in the bright phoenix of capitalism, while others still find use for Marxism. Giving to charities when you’re deeply in debt may not be legal, while donating to some children’s causes may be deemed a terrorist act. Golfing fundraisers continue to grow in popularity, if you’re White. Republican Congressman complains that telemarketers calling voters on his behalf have such heavy foreign accents they cannot be understood, but does not ask for imprisonment.

In Pittsburgh, prospective donors are cultivated through macing and various forms of punishment, while their solicitor is rewarded with a rich pension. In Massachusetts, prospective donors are flamingoed, and in New York City a single, suspended, spinning David Blaine replaces thousands of volunteer Salvation Army Bell Ringers across the country. Big Brother is fundraising on your computer.

Wal-Mart restricts giving to Gays and Lesbians to enhance holiday shopping. Secular liberals keep tight purses. Toys for Tots announces it will distribute 4,000 donated talking Jesus dolls this Christmas season. Dead spirits are helping raise funds for the SPCA. Nubian Queen Lola has a big heart.