She's wearing tight white shorts. How about yours?

At 76, Guffett Sr. has announced he is looking for someone to take over his job. Maybe he'll ask George Foreman, as he does keep a photo of him on his desk. But apparently he is no rush to retire, as the elder Guffett is in excellent shape from his diet of Cherry Coke and hamburgers. I guess don't live to geek; geek to live isn't one of the enlightened sayings you'll find in the Tao of Guffett.

Guffett Sr. may have filed his first income tax at age 13, declaring his bicycle as a business expense, but he still doesn't carry a cell phone or use a computer at his desk. Perhaps he can't afford them on his $100,000 a year salary? Maybe Guffett Jr., who recently sold 20 million shares of Microsoft stock, raising about $580,000,000, could front him a loan? Or perhaps he'll take up the Learning Annex's offer of $2,000,000 to teach for 30 minutes? Though of course, Donald Trump will then want a raise, up from the $1,500,000 per hour he gets.

Just because you're a Guffett child does not mean you get to play on your computer all day long. Mr. and Mrs. Guffett Jr. have decided to set for their daughter a of total screen time limit 45 minutes a day for games, and up to 1 hour a day on weekends. I wonder if she has met her new uncle yet, the Jewish Guffett?

So how do you know you're working at the world's largest foundation? When in one week your boss breaks earth on a new 1,000-car parking garage and his newest business partner is the Canadian Prime Minister. And speaking of parking garages, according to GM officials, if they made cars like Guffett Jr. makes computers, "You'd have to press the start button to turn the engine off."

Steve Jobs continues to get all the breaks, as people consider Guffett Jr. uncool and boring. Maybe we need to call in the brand experts? Or maybe not? Boring or not, Guffett Jr.'s fortune still rose $6 billion to $56 billion last year, while Guffett Sr. garnered in an additional $10 billion to boost his net worth to $52 billion. The lack of hurricanes has been credited with helping propel the elder's record profits, a fact I'm sure the folks at Common Ground were happy to hear.

Finally, every year Guffett Sr. writes a much anticipated annual letter to shareholders, full of words of wisdom, including this short story I'd like to share with you:

"An older man who crashed his grocery cart into that of a much younger fellow while both were shopping. The elderly man explained apologetically that he had lost track of his wife and was preoccupied searching for her. His new acquaintance said that by coincidence his wife had also wandered off and suggested that it might be more efficient if they jointly looked for the two women. Agreeing, the older man asked his new companion what his wife looked like. 'She’s a gorgeous blonde,' the fellow answered, 'with a body that would cause a bishop to go through a stained glass window, and she’s wearing tight white shorts. How about yours?" The senior citizen wasted no words: 'Forget her, we’ll look for yours.'"